Things have really taken off since the engagement. I feel like I’m reserving, booking and putting down deposits left and right. The wedding date is set for Spring 2016!!! Combining both cultures into the wedding has been a fun? challenge. For example, the outfits… Typically, South Asian wedding dresses are red and American dresses are white (duh). The compromise is for me to wear a white traditional Pakistani dress, we actually found one and it’s stunning!
One thing I want to make sure I don’t lose sight of is that at the end of this wedding craze, there is going to be a marriage. I am not sure that anyone is really ready for marriage, but I want to do my best to be prepared. I don’t know if pre-marital counseling is something we’ll do but I’m open to it and any good book recommendations are welcome.
This time last year I was in a pretty rough spot. Of course a lot has changed since then but the single most important thing I want to stress to people in similar situations is that the sooner you let your parents in on who you are, the sooner you get to enjoy a really awesome relationship with them.
This is extremely hard for first generation kids to do because our parents literally come from a different world then us. Even saying “I love you” is something they didn’t grow up with. Not saying they weren’t loved— it was just expressed MUCH differently. I admit, when I confided in my parents about T, it wasn’t a love fest right away. After some time passes, people are more open to forgive and eventually you get a chance to talk through everything.
I realized that the source of my sadness was not my family directly but it was the lack of connection we had. How can a person possibly connect with people that they feel they have to hide something so big from? Once everything was out in the open, the bad connection got a chance to get better with time. Because of a stronger family bond, I feel lighter, ready to have fun and more like myself. So long story short, open up to your parents, and don’t take years to do it! In the end they want to be there for you, if you let them.
Because I’m amazing at planning things, I wanted to give a list of wedding related tips like: What to Reserve First, How to Budget, Planning a Fusion Wedding…etc… but the only things I’ve learned so far is that somehow your budget will get blown out of the water, people will find reasons to complain, and what may seem simple is 100x harder when you put the word ‘Wedding’ in front of it, but as long as you remember that the person you’re marrying at the end of it all is your best friend then the rest doesn’t really matter.
Other updates: I’ve been a vegetarian for about 3 months. Thanks to binge watching 5 documentaries on Netflix, I realized how much I like my animals alive. Work is going well, family is doing great and I’m definitely aware of all the blessings coming our way and very thankful for them.